I Do Not Hate Jon Stainbrook

Welcome to "The Anus and Randy" Show

2009-03-07T13:38:00.005-05:00

I've been compiling a list of reasons not to read The Toledo Free Press, and every item on that list begins with "Michael Miller." My most recent addition:

Reason 5,678 ... Michael Miller manages to shock local high school students with his randy comments about (yep, you guessed it) Jon Stainbrook.

In case you missed the story in today's Blade, here's a link. Let's hope Stainbrook recorded the incident and will play the tape for all to hear.

What's astonishing is the disconnect between what the kids were asking Michael Miller and his response to them. They were giving this clod an out and he failed to recognize it or take advantage of it. His rude, uncalled for, profane remarks about another human being in front of a classroom of high school students could have been dismissed as a joke, if he'd taken his cue from the stunned students. But, no, Miller is never one to exercise, you know, good sense. Not when he can make a fool of himself, embarrass him employer, and prove for the umpteenth time what a pathetic piece of manure he is.

He owes Stainbook an apology. And it goes without saying that he owes the students and staff at Maumee Valley Country Day School a profuse apology. He also owes Tom Pounds a letter of resignation, the sooner the better.

It'd be funny if it weren't so unfair.

2009-03-04T13:40:00.003-05:00

If what I've been told is true (that people on local blogs are scolding Swampette for posting Jason Webber's private writings, and that some of them are the same people who supported the right of The Toledo Free Press to publish a private book proposal), this strikes me as yet another example of there being one set of rules when it comes to Jon Stainbrook and another set for everyone else.

I've been told the book proposal belonged to Jon and it was not his wish to make it public. He even went to court to try to stop publication of it. Did people come to his defense and trash TTP back then, the way they are now (rightly) trashing Chris Myers? No, at least not according to what I've been told by the person who gave me this background information.

I watched Chris Myers on WTVG last night. His response when asked about the effect of his blog post on Jason Webber's employment was priceless. He oh so obviously knows he harmed the man. You could see it in the panic in his face, especially his eyes. If you have the chance to watch the video, do. And Jason, do you have a good lawyer?

So a guy complains about his boss. Privately. To his friends. And Swampette decides to make it public.

2009-03-02T19:38:00.003-05:00

Wasn't Swampette the guy who was complaining that Stainbrook taped a private conversation and played it for a reporter? The Blade has a story posted about this spectacular display of hypocrisy on Swampette's part.

There's a big difference between what Stainbrook did (covering his rear when dealing with the Board of Elections, which has a history of trying to f*** him over) and what Swampette did (making private communication public, very likely tampering with a hapless city employee's employment and future opportunities). The word "schmuck" was invented for people like Myers.

You can read The Blade's story here.

UPDATE: Just got an email from someone telling me Myers is saying on his blog that he's comfortable with what he did. Great. I wonder how comfortable his victim (Jason Webber) is.

I do not hate Jon Stainbrook, but I think I could work up some strong dislike for Michael Miller.

2009-02-27T11:25:00.003-05:00

What kind of person thinks it's funny to make jokes indicating that someone is on Oxy? On the scale of tastelessness, that is off the chart. I hear Stain sues people. Was that Oxy comment in Miller's recent column (you'll find it in the Toledo Free Press) an attempt to get Stain to file a lawsuit? Has Miller been feeling ignored by Stain and he thinks this will get him back in the spotlight?

It's been entertaining in a this-is-pathetic way to see how some people become so fixated on destroying Stainbrook, they end up making themselves look like asses. Their lives must be emptier than my wallet.

What's all the fuss about Stainbrook's taping of conversations? If people were committed to ruining me, I might want to protect myself in the same way. Miller calls him paranoid, but all you have to do is read Miller's column (no, I won't link to it) to know why Stain covers his butt.

Isn't it odd that so many are focusing on what Stainbrook did, and not on the conflict in Olman's remarks as compared to the officially released reason a BOE employee was let go? That's the real issue, folks. Get over the Stainbrook hate so you can see what's really important.

She is woman, hear her roar (you go, girl!)

2009-02-13T18:09:00.003-05:00

I'm going to make a wild guess here. The blogs are yelping about Stainbrook again today, right? I haven't had any emails verifying this and I refuse to check for myself, but I did see the Blade article today about the court victory Mr. Stainbrook's pal, Kelly Bensman, scored.

To recap...

Bensman and, it appears, mr. Stainbrook believe there was some hanky-panky going on at the Board of Elections during the power struggle for control of the Lucas County GOP. Because they think that hanky-panky unfairly targeted Stainbrook, they want the opportunity to examine public records to see if their assumption is correct. Ms. Bensman went to court to try to persuade the judge to order the BOE to turn over public records she believed were being withheld.

Did she persuade the judge? No.

She persuaded THREE judges. Judges Mark Pietrykowski, Arlene Singer, and Thomas Osowik signed the order.

Mention "Jon Stainbrook" and "court" in the same sentence and it sets off explosions of fury among Stain's enemies. It seems they view the courts as being for other people, not Stain. That's why I think this ruling is going to send some people's blood pressure soaring. That's gotten to be as predictable as the sun's rising and setting. Now this Bensman woman is probably going to make the anti-Stainbrook crowd equally furious.

I was unfamiliar with her so I did some asking around. What I found out is that Ms. Bensman is a tenacious tiger intent on righting wrongs. She is smart, savvy, and a world class researcher. "A force to be reckoned with," one man told me. He is someone who has admired her from afar for years and I suspect he's half-way in love with her, but I believed him nevertheless because he mentioned several examples of her fine work and superior skills. I was impressed.

Knowing that Stainbrook has someone like Ms. Bensman on his team makes me wonder if he needs nobodys like me sticking up for him. Not that I'll quit.

If anything shows up in the blogs about the court victory, will someone please let me know? I don't let my computer visit them.

UPDATE: Just got an email from one of my trusty informants. He says the blogs are not picking up on this new chance to spew hatred for Stainbrook. Is it possible...could it be...might the haters finally be running out of steam? Or is that too much to hope for?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the scaredest of them all?

2009-01-29T15:37:00.002-05:00

A little birdie just told me that Swampette has discovered this blog and he thinks the reason comments aren't allowed is because I fear divergent views. This guy is so entertaining, he ought to take his act to Vegas. He'd look adorable in the pasties.

FYI for those visiting from the swampy place:

This blog IS the divergent view.

Also, I suggest that you help your pal Swampette get over his crippling fear. It's making a wreck of him. Not only does he quake at the mere thought of that big, bad, threatening Stain glancing his way, he projects his own fear onto others (me) where it doesn't exist. Someone give him a Xanax, fast!

Hat tip to GreenFlamingo for the heads up. Yes, GF, you're right. I'm sure there are some haters out there blaming Stainbrook for all this lousy snow we're getting. But we know that it's Stain's warm, sunny smile that'll finally usher in spring. So Jon, if you're reading this, smile, okay?

"When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions."

2009-01-29T00:39:00.005-05:00

According to an email I received tonight, that's what Swampette (aka Chris Myers) said in a post on his blog. It's an old post that I managed to miss because I don't venture into the Swamp, but even so it's worth talking about now because it shows the depth of this poor guy's self-delusion.

Let me summarize the silliness:

Swampette insists that Jon Stainbrook threatened him. Then he says, "When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions." But he obviously can't write off Stainbrook or move on, so there is an exception. Swampette has a baffling need to nurse his (imagined?) wounds and harp on (imagined?) threats he says Stainbook issued. Doesn't he realize that when he writes that he has put Stainbrook behind him, he's proving he's incapable of putting his obsessive hatred of Stainbrook behind him?

I have a suggestion for Swampette. He should go outside right now, this very minute and build a snowman. I mean a huge one -- a big, mean, threatening-looking snowman. There's plenty of snow to make it a towering monster. Swampette should use a ladder as he piles on the snow so he can make it the scariest creature ever created. And he should dress it up like a punk rocker with "I Love the GOP" tattoos just so everyone will know exactly who that snowman is supposed to be. Then Swampette should get on his tricycle and peddle toward the spooky snowman as fast as fast as his little legs will let him. He should peddle and peddle 'til he plows smack dab in the middle of it and knocks it down.

That's the only Stainbrook he'll ever destroy. And even then he'll be the one who's buried (under all that tumbling snow).

P.S. Did I mention that Swampette also calls Stainbrook a liar? But who was the one who said "When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions" then didn't move on?

The laughs keep coming, compliments of Mr. Myers.

2009-01-06T23:26:00.004-05:00

I had no idea when I started this blog that my fascination with anti-Stainbrook whiners would turn into a fascination with the leading whiner. It's all your fault, dear readers, because you keep sending me the most hilarious stuff.

Today's mailbag included this wonderful quote found at the bottom of an old Myers post about his favorite subject (three guesses who that is):

"Now if someone would like to intelegently debate what I said, I am all up to it. But I already know what the some of the posters are going to say or do, so I will respond to those who make intelegent statements and arguments."

Isn't this the guy who ran for skewl bored?

The more of these things you guys send me, the more tempted I am to actually go to the site. I just have to make sure my shots are up to date first.

Who you carrying that torch for, Chris?

2009-01-05T23:58:00.008-05:00

Laughter's good for the soul and I've certainly had a lot of it lately. Many thanks to those who emailed me the new post that was dumped in the Swamp today. Those parts that I forced myself to read reminded me of a line in a song, the one that goes "Can't take my eyes off of you..." Seems like that's how it is for Chris when it comes to Stainbrook. He just can't quit him, can he? I mean, really, he made a list of everything he thinks Stainbrook has done wrong over the past six months.

Tell me, how does somebody wake up in the morning and decide that's the best possible use of his day?

But wait, that's not what had me laughing till big fat tears started rolling down my cheeks. It was something that ColorCoded sent me, snipped from another local blog called Glass City Jungle: a quote from Chris, the Swampster, explaining why he launched the jonstainbrooksucks.com blog. Before I share that with you, swallow any liquids you have in your mouth because nobody wants your monitor to get spattered.

Ready?

Okay, here goes:

"Actually, the reason I did that was because people are afraid of standing up to Jon. That is my Statue of Liberty in Tiananmen square. So yes I am proud of it and I am showing that people can stand up to people like Carty, Jon or others and not be worried."

No, really. That's what he said. Now I can't get that crazy image out of my mind (the Statue of Liberty in Tiananmen Square, stopping a tank dead in its tracks). To see just how absurd the Myers quote is, take a look at the YouTube video here.

Anybody know if Chris dresses up like Lady Liberty on Halloween? If so, try to get a picture. I'd love to post it.

Congratulations, Mrs. Myers! It's a boy!

2009-01-04T22:10:00.006-05:00

Wow, you people are really determined. I don't post my email address here but you've figured it out anyway from the name of the blog and now my in-box is flooded with more than a person could ever want to know about the "brains" behind jonstainbrooksucks.com. Thanks for letting me know the blogger's last name and that she is a he, but please keep in mind I never said that he was a she. I just didn't know whether he was a she or she was a he, but now I do, and it's all your fault, you informative critters, you.

So, okay, my original hunch was wrong. All that anger over everything Jon Stainbrook does, or thinks about doing, isn't spewed by a lovelorn little girl acting out because the coolest boy at school ignores her. Nope. MR. Myers is driven by something different. My mailbox is open 24/7, so if any of you know why this blogger's thong is in such a twist, could you please let me know? I find his motivations an interesting area of speculation in a can't-look-away-from-the-wreck sort of way.

Some of you told me this Myers person has a blog called Swamp Bubbles. I'm picturing a grotesque creature submerged in a soupy muck, farting uncontrollably, sending bubbles to the surface where they pop and release their awful stench. I haven't been there yet and may never visit, but I know I can count on you eager emailers to keep me updated on the ugliness that passes for discussion there.

I know this because of what you've already emailed to me. Those posts you've copied and pasted are enlightening to say the least. I see that Jon Stainbrook isn't the only one with a target on his back in Sulphur Springs.

I'll leave it to you to figure out why Sulphur Springs is the name I've given the swamp. But be sure to hold your nose while you think about it.

There's this really weird guy in Toledo, and I don't mean Jon Stainbrook.

2009-01-02T16:08:00.003-05:00

Over coffee today a friend told me there's actually a blog called jonstainbrooksucks.com. To get there, you might have to put some W's in front of the URL. I don't know because I haven't wanted to visit. Just the fact that the site exists is what interests me, not what's there. Seems like it would take a special kind of person to make a site like that, and I don't mean special in the way that some people might use that word.

My friend said the guy who runs the site is named Chris something or other. I never heard of Chris something or other so I'm not sure Chris is a guy. My friend decided Chris is a guy because she thinks he's the same guy who ran for public office and lost. But she said the site looks very, very girly, so it's possible it's not the failed candidate. She said there are flowers and pale colors there. In other words, things that little girls swoon over, like their stuffed teddy bears, heart-shaped pillows, and training bras.

Let's assume this Chris really is a guy and this guy likes soft colors and flowers but detests Jon Stainbrook, and detests him enough to make a site that says Jon Stainbrook sucks. Now, I know why I made a site that says I don't hate Jon Stainbrook. I like to stand up for the underdog and when I see someone getting what looks to me like a lot of poop piled on him no matter what he does, I feel a need to pipe up on that person's behalf. But starting a site to say someone sucks? That seems fairly nutty to me, and it got me to thinking about what kind of person would create something like that.

Picture a boil. I mean one of those big festering sacks of pus that needs to be lanced. That's how I'm picturing this Chris person's heart. Maybe making a website based on hate is his (her?) way of lancing the boil. You have to be careful when you lace a boil. You could let loose a a huge flood of pus, and it could end up spreading infection to other places. Like your brain, for instance. Once your brain is infected, there's no telling how many posts oozing with pus you might start spreading around the Internet. It could turn a person into a joke, you know what I mean? It could call into question everything that person posts no matter what the topic is. People might start wondering if the poster is capable of being balanced and fair and decent.

Maybe someday when I don't have anything meaningful to do , and if I ever find out this Chris person's last name, I'll Google him (her?) to see if I can find any reason to start a site called idon'thatechriswhat'shis(her)name.com. I'm thinking that may be a little harder than finding reasons not to hate Jon Stainbrook, but I'm willing to give it a shot.

Breaking News: Jon Stainbrook is NOT Sleeping at Bernadette Noe's House.

2008-12-21T16:17:00.000-05:00

Stainbrook is reportedly in Ohio, weathering the winter storm with the rest of us rather than basking in the motherly light that only an older woman like Bernadette Noe can radiate. Meanwhile, Bernadette and her, um, interesting male companion are sharing the Noes' oceanfront home in Florida. You know: the house that the State of Ohio can't get its hands on in its attempt to collect the more than $13 million Tom Noe owes us.

Also, that's not Jon Stainbrook at Bernadette's side in the picture published in The Blade on December 21. He's the aforementioned "interesting male companion" -- a guy named Daniel Gignac, brother of Anthony Gignac (who likes to pretend he's a Saudi prince, but then who doesn't?).

Special note to researchers: If you're wondering if a knack for defrauding people might be genetic, maybe you should take a look at the Gignacs' DNA.

Question for criminal profilers: Is it sometimes difficult to tell who's defrauding whom?

And a reminder to all: To be a genuine member of I Do Not Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc., you are required to follow the link and read up on exactly what Jon Stainbrook is NOT doing.

I Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. is always hiring.

2008-12-21T15:02:00.000-05:00

Forget the tanking economy and all those pink slips that are going out. One local industry is going strong -- I Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. It's a direct competitor of I Do Not Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc., which I just now founded.

Neither firm pays its staff a cent, but each has its benefits.

I Do Not Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. reduces your need for BP meds, creates less spittle on your computer screen, and provides a more balanced view of what's happening in Lucas County.

I Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. , on the other hand, offers a lifetime supply of panties guaranteed to get in a twist every time there's a political story that can somehow magically have the name Stainbrook worked into it.

An example would be the recent stabbing of a former radio personality/newspaper columnist/TV commentator named Troy Neff. It happened on a December night in Perrysburg Township on the outskirts of Toledo, a road-rage incident that got out of hand. A fellow named Hardeman was arrested. You can read about it here, if you don't mind reading old news.

So far, so good. Well, not so good for Troy Neff whose recovery required a few stitches and huge doses of free publicity. And not so good for Mr. Hardeman, who sat in a jail cell for several days before being allowed to head back to his home in Tennessee. But good for Mr. Stainbrook because he enjoyed whole days of not being associated with the bloody mess in Perrysburg Township.

Then good turned to bad for Mr. Stainbrook when the staff at I Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. started, with a wink and a nod, to imply that Mr. Hardeman's choice of attorney (Scott Ciolek) had Stainbrook's fingerprints all over it. This tin-foil-hat-ism sprang from the fact that Mr. Stainbrook once had some dealings with that attorney. That's all the staff at I Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. needs to get them going.

Now, I have no idea whether they're right or wrong. My only point is: So what if he did? And so what if he didn't? The case does not involve Jon Stainbrook. Maybe, when trying to figure out how Mr. Hardeman and Scott Ciolek found each other, it'd be more productive to look at -- not Jon Stainbrook's past associations -- but rather Mr. Neff's possible on-air remarks about Mr. Ciolek. I never listened to Neff's show myself, but I'm curious: maybe what I missed was a show or shows where he messed with the wrong lawyer. That's just a musing of mine, not based on any facts in evidence, but if I Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc. can make such leaps, why can't I, as CEO of I Do Not Hate Jon Stainbrook, Inc.?