A little birdie just told me that Swampette has discovered this blog and he thinks the reason comments aren't allowed is because I fear divergent views. This guy is so entertaining, he ought to take his act to Vegas. He'd look adorable in the pasties.
FYI for those visiting from the swampy place:
This blog IS the divergent view.
Also, I suggest that you help your pal Swampette get over his crippling fear. It's making a wreck of him. Not only does he quake at the mere thought of that big, bad, threatening Stain glancing his way, he projects his own fear onto others (me) where it doesn't exist. Someone give him a Xanax, fast!
Hat tip to GreenFlamingo for the heads up. Yes, GF, you're right. I'm sure there are some haters out there blaming Stainbrook for all this lousy snow we're getting. But we know that it's Stain's warm, sunny smile that'll finally usher in spring. So Jon, if you're reading this, smile, okay?
Thursday, January 29, 2009
"When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions."
According to an email I received tonight, that's what Swampette (aka Chris Myers) said in a post on his blog. It's an old post that I managed to miss because I don't venture into the Swamp, but even so it's worth talking about now because it shows the depth of this poor guy's self-delusion.
Let me summarize the silliness:
Swampette insists that Jon Stainbrook threatened him. Then he says, "When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions." But he obviously can't write off Stainbrook or move on, so there is an exception. Swampette has a baffling need to nurse his (imagined?) wounds and harp on (imagined?) threats he says Stainbook issued. Doesn't he realize that when he writes that he has put Stainbrook behind him, he's proving he's incapable of putting his obsessive hatred of Stainbrook behind him?
I have a suggestion for Swampette. He should go outside right now, this very minute and build a snowman. I mean a huge one -- a big, mean, threatening-looking snowman. There's plenty of snow to make it a towering monster. Swampette should use a ladder as he piles on the snow so he can make it the scariest creature ever created. And he should dress it up like a punk rocker with "I Love the GOP" tattoos just so everyone will know exactly who that snowman is supposed to be. Then Swampette should get on his tricycle and peddle toward the spooky snowman as fast as fast as his little legs will let him. He should peddle and peddle 'til he plows smack dab in the middle of it and knocks it down.
That's the only Stainbrook he'll ever destroy. And even then he'll be the one who's buried (under all that tumbling snow).
P.S. Did I mention that Swampette also calls Stainbrook a liar? But who was the one who said "When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions" then didn't move on?
Let me summarize the silliness:
Swampette insists that Jon Stainbrook threatened him. Then he says, "When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions." But he obviously can't write off Stainbrook or move on, so there is an exception. Swampette has a baffling need to nurse his (imagined?) wounds and harp on (imagined?) threats he says Stainbook issued. Doesn't he realize that when he writes that he has put Stainbrook behind him, he's proving he's incapable of putting his obsessive hatred of Stainbrook behind him?
I have a suggestion for Swampette. He should go outside right now, this very minute and build a snowman. I mean a huge one -- a big, mean, threatening-looking snowman. There's plenty of snow to make it a towering monster. Swampette should use a ladder as he piles on the snow so he can make it the scariest creature ever created. And he should dress it up like a punk rocker with "I Love the GOP" tattoos just so everyone will know exactly who that snowman is supposed to be. Then Swampette should get on his tricycle and peddle toward the spooky snowman as fast as fast as his little legs will let him. He should peddle and peddle 'til he plows smack dab in the middle of it and knocks it down.
That's the only Stainbrook he'll ever destroy. And even then he'll be the one who's buried (under all that tumbling snow).
P.S. Did I mention that Swampette also calls Stainbrook a liar? But who was the one who said "When someone threatens me I write them off, and move on, no exceptions" then didn't move on?
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
The laughs keep coming, compliments of Mr. Myers.
I had no idea when I started this blog that my fascination with anti-Stainbrook whiners would turn into a fascination with the leading whiner. It's all your fault, dear readers, because you keep sending me the most hilarious stuff.
Today's mailbag included this wonderful quote found at the bottom of an old Myers post about his favorite subject (three guesses who that is):
"Now if someone would like to intelegently debate what I said, I am all up to it. But I already know what the some of the posters are going to say or do, so I will respond to those who make intelegent statements and arguments."
Isn't this the guy who ran for skewl bored?
The more of these things you guys send me, the more tempted I am to actually go to the site. I just have to make sure my shots are up to date first.
Today's mailbag included this wonderful quote found at the bottom of an old Myers post about his favorite subject (three guesses who that is):
"Now if someone would like to intelegently debate what I said, I am all up to it. But I already know what the some of the posters are going to say or do, so I will respond to those who make intelegent statements and arguments."
Isn't this the guy who ran for skewl bored?
The more of these things you guys send me, the more tempted I am to actually go to the site. I just have to make sure my shots are up to date first.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Who you carrying that torch for, Chris?
Laughter's good for the soul and I've certainly had a lot of it lately. Many thanks to those who emailed me the new post that was dumped in the Swamp today. Those parts that I forced myself to read reminded me of a line in a song, the one that goes "Can't take my eyes off of you..." Seems like that's how it is for Chris when it comes to Stainbrook. He just can't quit him, can he? I mean, really, he made a list of everything he thinks Stainbrook has done wrong over the past six months.
Tell me, how does somebody wake up in the morning and decide that's the best possible use of his day?
But wait, that's not what had me laughing till big fat tears started rolling down my cheeks. It was something that ColorCoded sent me, snipped from another local blog called Glass City Jungle: a quote from Chris, the Swampster, explaining why he launched the jonstainbrooksucks.com blog. Before I share that with you, swallow any liquids you have in your mouth because nobody wants your monitor to get spattered.
Ready?
Okay, here goes:
"Actually, the reason I did that was because people are afraid of standing up to Jon. That is my Statue of Liberty in Tiananmen square. So yes I am proud of it and I am showing that people can stand up to people like Carty, Jon or others and not be worried."
No, really. That's what he said. Now I can't get that crazy image out of my mind (the Statue of Liberty in Tiananmen Square, stopping a tank dead in its tracks). To see just how absurd the Myers quote is, take a look at the YouTube video here.
Anybody know if Chris dresses up like Lady Liberty on Halloween? If so, try to get a picture. I'd love to post it.
Tell me, how does somebody wake up in the morning and decide that's the best possible use of his day?
But wait, that's not what had me laughing till big fat tears started rolling down my cheeks. It was something that ColorCoded sent me, snipped from another local blog called Glass City Jungle: a quote from Chris, the Swampster, explaining why he launched the jonstainbrooksucks.com blog. Before I share that with you, swallow any liquids you have in your mouth because nobody wants your monitor to get spattered.
Ready?
Okay, here goes:
"Actually, the reason I did that was because people are afraid of standing up to Jon. That is my Statue of Liberty in Tiananmen square. So yes I am proud of it and I am showing that people can stand up to people like Carty, Jon or others and not be worried."
No, really. That's what he said. Now I can't get that crazy image out of my mind (the Statue of Liberty in Tiananmen Square, stopping a tank dead in its tracks). To see just how absurd the Myers quote is, take a look at the YouTube video here.
Anybody know if Chris dresses up like Lady Liberty on Halloween? If so, try to get a picture. I'd love to post it.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Congratulations, Mrs. Myers! It's a boy!
Wow, you people are really determined. I don't post my email address here but you've figured it out anyway from the name of the blog and now my in-box is flooded with more than a person could ever want to know about the "brains" behind jonstainbrooksucks.com. Thanks for letting me know the blogger's last name and that she is a he, but please keep in mind I never said that he was a she. I just didn't know whether he was a she or she was a he, but now I do, and it's all your fault, you informative critters, you.
So, okay, my original hunch was wrong. All that anger over everything Jon Stainbrook does, or thinks about doing, isn't spewed by a lovelorn little girl acting out because the coolest boy at school ignores her. Nope. MR. Myers is driven by something different. My mailbox is open 24/7, so if any of you know why this blogger's thong is in such a twist, could you please let me know? I find his motivations an interesting area of speculation in a can't-look-away-from-the-wreck sort of way.
Some of you told me this Myers person has a blog called Swamp Bubbles. I'm picturing a grotesque creature submerged in a soupy muck, farting uncontrollably, sending bubbles to the surface where they pop and release their awful stench. I haven't been there yet and may never visit, but I know I can count on you eager emailers to keep me updated on the ugliness that passes for discussion there.
I know this because of what you've already emailed to me. Those posts you've copied and pasted are enlightening to say the least. I see that Jon Stainbrook isn't the only one with a target on his back in Sulphur Springs.
I'll leave it to you to figure out why Sulphur Springs is the name I've given the swamp. But be sure to hold your nose while you think about it.
So, okay, my original hunch was wrong. All that anger over everything Jon Stainbrook does, or thinks about doing, isn't spewed by a lovelorn little girl acting out because the coolest boy at school ignores her. Nope. MR. Myers is driven by something different. My mailbox is open 24/7, so if any of you know why this blogger's thong is in such a twist, could you please let me know? I find his motivations an interesting area of speculation in a can't-look-away-from-the-wreck sort of way.
Some of you told me this Myers person has a blog called Swamp Bubbles. I'm picturing a grotesque creature submerged in a soupy muck, farting uncontrollably, sending bubbles to the surface where they pop and release their awful stench. I haven't been there yet and may never visit, but I know I can count on you eager emailers to keep me updated on the ugliness that passes for discussion there.
I know this because of what you've already emailed to me. Those posts you've copied and pasted are enlightening to say the least. I see that Jon Stainbrook isn't the only one with a target on his back in Sulphur Springs.
I'll leave it to you to figure out why Sulphur Springs is the name I've given the swamp. But be sure to hold your nose while you think about it.
Friday, January 2, 2009
There's this really weird guy in Toledo, and I don't mean Jon Stainbrook.
Over coffee today a friend told me there's actually a blog called jonstainbrooksucks.com. To get there, you might have to put some W's in front of the URL. I don't know because I haven't wanted to visit. Just the fact that the site exists is what interests me, not what's there. Seems like it would take a special kind of person to make a site like that, and I don't mean special in the way that some people might use that word.
My friend said the guy who runs the site is named Chris something or other. I never heard of Chris something or other so I'm not sure Chris is a guy. My friend decided Chris is a guy because she thinks he's the same guy who ran for public office and lost. But she said the site looks very, very girly, so it's possible it's not the failed candidate. She said there are flowers and pale colors there. In other words, things that little girls swoon over, like their stuffed teddy bears, heart-shaped pillows, and training bras.
Let's assume this Chris really is a guy and this guy likes soft colors and flowers but detests Jon Stainbrook, and detests him enough to make a site that says Jon Stainbrook sucks. Now, I know why I made a site that says I don't hate Jon Stainbrook. I like to stand up for the underdog and when I see someone getting what looks to me like a lot of poop piled on him no matter what he does, I feel a need to pipe up on that person's behalf. But starting a site to say someone sucks? That seems fairly nutty to me, and it got me to thinking about what kind of person would create something like that.
Picture a boil. I mean one of those big festering sacks of pus that needs to be lanced. That's how I'm picturing this Chris person's heart. Maybe making a website based on hate is his (her?) way of lancing the boil. You have to be careful when you lace a boil. You could let loose a a huge flood of pus, and it could end up spreading infection to other places. Like your brain, for instance. Once your brain is infected, there's no telling how many posts oozing with pus you might start spreading around the Internet. It could turn a person into a joke, you know what I mean? It could call into question everything that person posts no matter what the topic is. People might start wondering if the poster is capable of being balanced and fair and decent.
Maybe someday when I don't have anything meaningful to do , and if I ever find out this Chris person's last name, I'll Google him (her?) to see if I can find any reason to start a site called idon'thatechriswhat'shis(her)name.com. I'm thinking that may be a little harder than finding reasons not to hate Jon Stainbrook, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
My friend said the guy who runs the site is named Chris something or other. I never heard of Chris something or other so I'm not sure Chris is a guy. My friend decided Chris is a guy because she thinks he's the same guy who ran for public office and lost. But she said the site looks very, very girly, so it's possible it's not the failed candidate. She said there are flowers and pale colors there. In other words, things that little girls swoon over, like their stuffed teddy bears, heart-shaped pillows, and training bras.
Let's assume this Chris really is a guy and this guy likes soft colors and flowers but detests Jon Stainbrook, and detests him enough to make a site that says Jon Stainbrook sucks. Now, I know why I made a site that says I don't hate Jon Stainbrook. I like to stand up for the underdog and when I see someone getting what looks to me like a lot of poop piled on him no matter what he does, I feel a need to pipe up on that person's behalf. But starting a site to say someone sucks? That seems fairly nutty to me, and it got me to thinking about what kind of person would create something like that.
Picture a boil. I mean one of those big festering sacks of pus that needs to be lanced. That's how I'm picturing this Chris person's heart. Maybe making a website based on hate is his (her?) way of lancing the boil. You have to be careful when you lace a boil. You could let loose a a huge flood of pus, and it could end up spreading infection to other places. Like your brain, for instance. Once your brain is infected, there's no telling how many posts oozing with pus you might start spreading around the Internet. It could turn a person into a joke, you know what I mean? It could call into question everything that person posts no matter what the topic is. People might start wondering if the poster is capable of being balanced and fair and decent.
Maybe someday when I don't have anything meaningful to do , and if I ever find out this Chris person's last name, I'll Google him (her?) to see if I can find any reason to start a site called idon'thatechriswhat'shis(her)name.com. I'm thinking that may be a little harder than finding reasons not to hate Jon Stainbrook, but I'm willing to give it a shot.
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